bElng mysElf

 2023 我失去了很多， 我失去了我的弟弟， 我失去了我生爱的他， 我失去了我的方向， 我更失去了我的笑容， 到后面，我也失去了我自己！

  和你並肩同行 一起走過各種天氣 再冷 我都不覺得 委屈 但生命轉了彎 慌亂間我回頭看 卻失去你的 蹤跡 不想一睡不醒 免得錯過你的消息 忍著痛 忍不住了我就深呼吸 你說過的永遠 說好要帶我去 心颳著風下著雨 想著你往前進 愛 請問怎麼走 我一個人翻過山越過海 只為你對我好過 這份愛 前所未有 愛 為什麼不走 我也不懂誰勸我誰愛我 誰可以讓我解脫 你的吻像個溫柔 的符咒 不想一睡不醒 免得錯過你的消息 忍著痛 忍不住了我就深呼吸 你說過的永遠 說好要帶我去 心刮著風下著雨 想著你往前進 愛 (愛要怎麼走) 請問怎麼走 (愛要怎麼走) 我一個人翻過山越過海 只為你對我好過 這份愛 前所未有 愛 (愛要怎麼走) 為什麼不走 (愛要怎麼走) 我也不懂誰勸我誰愛我 誰可以讓我解脫 你的吻像個溫柔 的符咒 只想 等你 回頭 緊握 我的雙手 (緊握我的手) 想著你 (想著) 就能執著 不管多麼寂寞 我的苦 我的淚 我的理所當然 只要你說你懂 (只要你懂) 就足夠 (愛要怎麼走 愛要怎麼走) 我翻過山越過海只為你對我好過 這份愛 前所未有 愛 (愛要怎麼走) 為什麼 不走 是誰勸我誰愛我 誰可以讓我解脫 你的吻像個溫柔 的符咒

  我的心 是什麼時候 被掏空了 不相信 可眼神確實 少了靈魂 消失不見的人 無聲遺言最狠 查無此心 是不是 就不恨 失去我 你怎麼做到 說分就分 不相信 誰能輕易說 不可能 失去你 痊癒的表面 依舊完整 那傷痕 會替你陪我到永恆 遺忘不了的人 陪我迎向旅程 失去你 早在我生命 留下刻痕

  2023 has been tremendously painful for me. This year, I've been through a lot of things that actually broke me. I've lost some people I loved, and I have also found myself completely lost and devastated. The previous years were also sad for me, but this year really hurt me so bad. Nobody knows, but it took me everything to survive this year. I've been grieving, crying, screaming, and falling apart. And I'm quite mad, for I felt like the universe was so cruel to me. No one will ever understand the pain that I had to bear alone because no one even noticed that I was suffering silently. This year was so painful because I've been through betrayal, abandonment, disappointment, psychological abuse, emotional torment, and all the brutal things that a man could possibly do to hurt someone's feelings. I have died a hundred times, cried more than I could, and endured all those hurtful feelings all at once. But despite everything that happened, I'm still here, trying

 I will never forget how you left me when I needed you most. One of my mistakes was believing that you were different from all the people who have hurt me before. You showed me how special I was to you, and you made me believe that you had good intentions. I've set aside all my fears and traumas and then trusted you with the promise that you would never try to hurt me too. You've seen my vulnerable side, and I completely allowed you to hold even the parts of me that were already broken. I thought I would finally be loved and treated well, but suddenly, you also made me feel so unwanted. You made me feel as if I was hard to love, and that really hurt me a lot. I will never forget how you turned into someone you promised you would never be. I was so disappointed, but most importantly, I was so hurt that it made me think I do not deserve to be loved genuinely. It made me think that I wasn't enough because I keep losing all the people who mean so much to me. I keep losing the o