bElng mysElf

我是不是该安静的走开 作词：陈大力 作曲：陈秀男 我不知道为什么这样　爱情不是我想像 就是找不到往你的方向　更别说怎么遗忘 站在雨里泪水在眼底　不知该往那里去 心中千万遍不停呼唤你　不停疯狂找寻你 我是不是该安静的走开　还是该勇敢留下来 我也不知道那么多无奈　可不可以都重来 我是不是该安静的走开　还是该在这里等待 等你明白我给你的爱　永远都不能走开

We live in a time where many of us are obsess and worry about the future. We are elbowing and racing each other to see who can get there better and faster. Sometimes without even asking ourselves if "this is the pathway that i'm heading towards" Someone asked what is your definition of a healthy view of "happiness"? The achievement of certain milestones - a great career, a happy family, a large house - by the appropriate time. If we achieve these milestones, will we be happy? Or are we focused on appearing to be happy by others' definitions than actually being happy by our own. Everyone's definition of happiness differs. It is not to say that one definition of happiness is better another. What is more important is that we consider our options. Keep our eyes on your own journey and ask ourselves from time to time, what our definition of happiness is. Dig deeper than what our Facebook and Instagram feeds are te...

28th Feb  1519hrs We all knew this moment would eventually come but it came quickly and hit us hard. He look very peaceful as he sleep. Then everything happen very quickly. His irregular breathing shows a sign of declining. And slowly he took his last breathe, peacefully surrounded by us. My brother was diagnosis with tongue cancer last July. He underwent operation to remove and flap his oral cavity. Went through a series of RT & a session of Chemo. After the chemo, he was found to have TBD (Telomere Biology disorder). Every bi weekly for blood tranfusion due to unknown cause for his low blood. Just as we were celebrating the removal of his NGT & he could actually intake orally. Another new mass on his chest struck us with a prognosis of less than a year. And within a span of 2-4 weeks after detecting to restarting of RT, he deteriorate quickly and before we knew it, the tumor mass grew, pressing onto his trachea causing him to cough badly & SOB. This tumor mass is real...

My new life is going to cost me my old one. It's going to cost my out of my comfort zone and sense of direction. It's going to cost me some peace and loneliness. It's going to cost me more independent in myself. Moving.... Moving into a new place. Moving into independent. Moving into an unknown sense of direction which is out of the comfort zone. Moving into some peace and loneliness. Moving into a place i can finally call my own home sweet home. Moving.... Moving out isnt easy. Moving out alone is    ............... Moving out means you are on your own. Moving out alone has zillions things to settle on your own. Moving out finally set me free from the freedom.

  This Is A Letter To My Maybe Almost I remember how you start noticing the way i do things and tell me which i dont even notice myself. I wish that I could have pressed pause on the time. To have the chance to memorize you. I didnt shared all my thoughts with you yet because i dont really know how to bring it up. Things I’ve never told anyone, upon meeting you, i told u. I’m glad I did because now I could breathe again and I feel peace. I felt like things were too good right now and I was just waiting for things to change. Well, it happened and i guess we happen too soon. I never planned on you changing your mind.  Would you believe me if I told you that you made me feel again? For a few weeks of my life, you brought me happiness in such little time. My past had led me to believe that I wouldn’t experience this feeling again. I found myself randomly smiling all day. Those nights we stayed up till 2am were the best. You allowed yourself to open up to me slowly and I can’t tell...

  刻在我心底的名字 - 電影《刻在你心底的名字》主題曲 詞曲：許媛婷、佳旺、陳文華 編曲：黃雨勳 演唱：盧廣仲 Oublie-le （忘了吧） 好幾次我告訴我自己 越想努力趕上光的影 越無法抽離 而已 Je t'aimais （我愛你） 刻骨銘心只有我自己 好不容易交出真心的勇氣 你沉默的回應 是善意 刻在我心底的名字 忘記了時間這回事 於是謊言說了一次就一輩子 曾頑固跟世界對峙 覺得連呼吸都是奢侈 如果有下次 我會再愛一次 刻在我心底的名字 你藏在塵封的位置 要不是這樣我怎麼過一輩子 我住在霓虹的城市 握著飛向天堂的地址 你可以翱翔 可是我只能停滯 尋找你 茫茫人海卻又想起你 好不容易離開思念的軌跡 回憶將我連繫 到過去 刻在我心底的名字 忘記了時間這回事 既然決定愛上一次就一輩子 希望讓這世界靜止 想念才不會變得奢侈 如果有下次 我會再愛一次 刻在我心底的名字 你藏在塵封的位置 要不是這樣我怎麼過一輩子 我住在想你的城市 握著飛向天空的鑰匙 你繼續翱翔 還有我為你堅持 刻在我心底的名字 忘記了時間這回事 既然決定愛上一次就一輩子 希望讓這世界靜止 想念才不會變得奢侈 如果有下次 我會再愛一次

     Thank you 2020! If I have learned anything this year, its that I wont ever be ready for what life has throws at me. I walk over glass, through fired and still survived the way it should be. The universe is teaching me how to be thankful for all the things that did not work out in my life. And sorry that the world wasn’t always being kind to me. But here I am. To a better me, better year!   利