bElng mysElf

     Thank you 2020! If I have learned anything this year, its that I wont ever be ready for what life has throws at me. I walk over glass, through fired and still survived the way it should be. The universe is teaching me how to be thankful for all the things that did not work out in my life. And sorry that the world wasn’t always being kind to me. But here I am. To a better me, better year!   利

  Death is a word, and it is the word, the image, that creates fear. Death is nothing, but to live defeated is to  die every day   The most  sadness of all is Dr Jeremy Ng. The whole of GES nurses, doctors and anyone who knows him broke down immediately when news fire out. It is indeed SGH loss,  but may your soul be in heaven now with the angels.  In my job scope,  i dont experience dead as much as what the ward settings has In OT, as a team, whenever pt collapse, we fight, we support,  we do everything we can just to make sure our pt dont died on table. Last 6 months of 2020 and  last 2 days into a New Year... i guess i experience the most number  collapse on table and eventually didnt make it. Being call back for my "liver call" duties... when i though everything should be nicely done by midnight. Unexpectedly, i couldnt take over as  it was a warzone, we need extra pairs of hands.   It was suppose to be a happy ending ...

 You managed to lose her.  The one woman who was willing to cross oceans for you.   You pushed away the very person who would do almost anything to be with you. She never asked for anything except one reason to stay, proof that you wanted her and that there would be a future for you both. Alas, you failed to provide that and now, she’s gone. She didn’t care that you weren’t rich or that you didn’t drive a fancy car, all she wanted was to be your lady. She didn’t care that you had flaws because she had flaws of her own. Months of spending time together made her fall for you and yet you chose to remain blind to the fact that she chose you regardless of what her friends were saying. All she ever wanted was for you to return the love which she so freely gave to you. All you had to do was treat her right.   There was no need for diamonds and roses, candlelit dinners and expensive spoils. She was a simple girl with a big heart whose only desire was to be loved and respecte...

  Ever have that moment? When someone asks you if you're okay, and you just wanna turn to them and  tell them everything. The words, the feelings, the truths are on the tip of your tongue, and all you want to do is to let them all out and say that no, you're not okay and that you really just need someone to hold you in their arms and tell you eventually, things will be okay... but you dont. You dont tell them any of that, and instead... you just force a smile, lie and tell them yes. Yes, you're okay. -Cici.B