when u have got too much time on your hands you tend to fiddle and go through photo folders on your comp looking and laughing at yourself when you looked so 'toot' in the past with the ugly hair and unmatching clothes. you cringe and you look further, you see times that you've had, happier times with friends and special ones, silly and crazy things that you have done. sad times, angry times, times when you've quarrelled and made up. memories then come flooding in, thoughts go running across your mind as if in a dream because for some reason some recollections feel so surreal as if it never happened. but you know it happened, as affirmed by this indescribable feeling that begins to well up within you, reminding you of those ironically happy times. you feel your gut churn and twist, and you realise the strange etheral hurt seems to throb in sync with your heart beat. you try to understand where that feeling is coming from. it feels like it is coming from a place so deep, that place where you have subconciously buried those wonderful pleasant memories for fear that they would bare their teeth and sink them into your once bleeding heart again. you close your album folder and you feel a little better.

strange huh how the amnesia is never complete.


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