bElng mysElf

  So today is world mental health day! And yes im still grieving... I still tear over little things.... I envy people who has support...

 Dear September, I do not know why i hate you now.  I wish it hasnt exist. i wish i hasnt exist too. i waited a whole day just for your message, but i just had none. i broke down and tear and tear.... im so useless, im really am.....

Grief is a natural response to loss. It’s the emotional suffering you feel when something or someone you love is taken away. Often, the pain of loss can feel overwhelming. You may experience all kinds of difficult and unexpected emotions, from shock or anger to disbelief, guilt, and profound sadness. The pain of grief can also disrupt your physical health, making it difficult to sleep, eat, or even think straight. These are normal reactions to loss—and the more significant the loss, the more intense your grief will be . i've always work hard for everything, but why do i have to lose everything....................................................................................................................................................................................................................................

 眼泪还在流， 笑容还在哭。 So this is the most unhappy 40s day.

 When the heart suddenly feels heavy and you sit there crying, holding your chest, praying the pain will go away....

原来不知不觉      习惯了每天晚上熄灭了灯，       然后坐在阳台想着你。。。